Friday, June 25, 2010

BON VOYAGE.



Today we're proudly presenting one of the most iconic scenes from one of the most mesmerizing shows to ever grace our television screens,
MIAMI VICE. It was only a matter a time before this scene saw the light around here. Everyone can appreciate an epic ride into the sunset with Sonny and Tubbs, while waves crash and visions of vigalante coke lords haunt their minds.

Russ Ballard's hypnotic echoed rhythms can be heard in this clip with his track 'Voices'. The scene and the song complement each other so graciously and effortlessly. They were truly made for one another. So throw on some of your favorite musk and slip into your loafers with no socks...and maybe even have a quick taste of that gram of uncut Colombian you've been waiting to unleash at the right moment. For a second you can almost smell the ocean air off this song as it plays over the clip.

Mp3 -> Russ Ballard - Voices

Sunday, June 20, 2010

YEAH, ROCK ON, YES.



Someone please forward me their booking agent's contact information so that they can play my annual summer pool party for the next decade.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

TNUC SMASHER.



Unless you've been kicked by a mule or are just totally brain-dead from ludes', you have come to understand that the word TNUC is CUNT, spelled backwards. A number of myths and legends behind the name suggest that it has nothing to do with the derogatory word, which is pretty much correct. The truest meaning behind TNUC has yet to be etched in emerald, but as we slowly unfold here on this site, we sink deeper into the ultimate meaning of this movement.

Now here is a guy who is a longtime supporter of this movement. Prior to prancing around on afternoon talk shows, this guy used to work for yours truly. I hired him as the muscle for some of my outlandish pool parties back in 1989. Back then he would be known as the TNUC SMASHER. Some of the parties at my house that year would go way over the top, with bodies flying out windows, people trying to steal my Lambourgini Countache and one particular individual I remember letting my pet cougar, Donna, out of her cage one night. It was incidences like these that I would call on the TNUC SMASHER to handle things accordingly.


After about a year, the TNUC SMASHER fell into a deep depression after being turned down in an audition to be the new guitarist in Ratt. See, over the years many people mistook him for the late-great guitarist of Ratt, Robbin Crosby. SMASHER was so dim-witted that he figured as long as he looked cool enough to fit the part, he would get the gig. When the band fired Robbin Crosby, SMASHER stepped in and thought it would be a walk in the park. After receiving the bad news of being denied, he began a long downhill ride with cocaine, lost all his muscle, and became useless to TNUC.


After a few years, he went cold turkey and bulked up again. Rumors suggested that he somehow gained motivation and went on a strict diet of egg whites, muscle enhancers and raw shark cartilage. I still didn't require his services any longer and sued him for the rights to his former title, 'TNUC SMASHER'. After a lengthy battle in court, I won and regained the title and his whole life savings. Apparently he had so much trouble giving up the title that he transformed it into simply, CUNT SMASHER, as seen in the video, and began guest starring on various talk shows and violating middle-aged women.

Monday, June 14, 2010

AHEAD OF OUR TIME.

Finally, I can sleep at night. The pleasant people at Panasonic Video Systems have created a lightweight, portable VCR system for all my pre-recorded, HI-FI dreams. Let's have a look...



Even though summer is just beginning, this could be your only chance. Hop in that 4 x 4 you've had your eye on, tear the top off and head to the beaches of Malibu where long-legged beach bunnies and Panasonic VCR systems run free and dance in the sun.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

LOVE THEME.



This is dedicated to any lost warrior that has wandered abandoned streets at night, casting shadows through the dense fog that makes the night all the more mysterious and sensual. Play the track, sit back and delve into a TNUC-styled pleasure dome.

Vangelis - Love Theme by TNUC

Thursday, June 3, 2010

STARTS TOMORROW!



Sometimes you can feel totally spoiled by living in this city. Here's one HUGE example...

June 4 STALLONE TRIPLE FEATURE
COBRA 7:30 / TANGO & CASH 9:30 / CLIFFHANGER 11:30
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=123297934348038

June 5 Jim Wynorski TRIPLE FEATURE:
THE LOST EMPIRE 7:30 / CHOPPING MALL 9:20 / DEMOLITION HIGH 11:00
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=119329794761754
Jim Wynorski & Chopping Mall star Kelli Maroney IN PERSON, schedule permitting, to discuss!

June 6
THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE 7:30 / GHOULIES II 9:30
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118080201544422

June 7
THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 7:30 / SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 9:30
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121574871192139

June 8 Two by Brian De Palma:
BLOW OUT 7:30 / FEMME FATAL 9:40
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=123287207687370
Legendary film editor Paul Hirsch will appear IN PERSON, schedule permitting, to discuss his work on Blow Out and his long career with Brian De Palma during a Q&A moderated by Jeremy Smith of Ain't It Cool News.

June 9 - Phil's Birthday Party!!
REVENGE OF THE NERDS 7:30 / HEAVENLY BODIES 9:30
More info:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=111263555582604
Revenge of the Nerds star Robert Carradine will appear IN PERSON, schedule permitting, for a post-film Q&A!

June 10
PRISON 7:30 / THE HORROR SHOW 9:30
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=119701634725020
Prison director Renny Harlin & screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner will, schedules permitting, appear IN PERSON to discuss the film!

Triple features - $10
Double features - $7 general / $6 student / $5 seniors & children

All movies screen from 35mm film prints preceded by vintage trailers & more. For info, visit
http://www.newbevcinema.com/