DR. DR. KOKENSTEIN'S BETWEEN HER LEGS HALLOWEEN MIX.

Dr. Dr. Kokenstein (pronounced with a hard German accent) is a deranged, psychopathic surgeon with a vital prescription just for you. He's spent months formulating a lethal mixture of cocaine, pieces of a dead hooker that were previously laid across his lab table and of course, HEAVY METAL. He bottles this concoction and sneaks it on to pharmacy shelves in the blackest of night, right before dawn.

Dr. Dr. urges you to convince your Mom to fire up the station wagon and drive you down to the local pharmacy. Tell the pharmacist that you're there to pick up a prescription from Dr. Dr. Kokenstein! With appearances from Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. and Barbara Walters of ABC News, this mix promises to not only make your ears bleed, but your nose as well. Your instinct will to be grab a tissue and run to the bathroom, but Dr. Dr. advises you not to, because that drip of blood coming out of your left nostril is a drip of heavy metal discharge!

DR. DR. KOKENSTEIN'S 'BETWEEN HER LEGS HALLOWEEN MIX' by TNUC

GIANNI ROSSI - C BEAMS (video by TNUC).

If you go down to the woods tonight, watch out for Gianni Rossi!



Video for Gianni Rossi's version of 'C Beams'.
Original version by Steve Moore.

HOUNDS OF HELL.

DUEL SHREDDING + DUEL BEHEADING.

For those of you that don't already know, Michael Angelo Batio is a virtuoso, otherworldly guitarist that most notably is recognized as the manbeast that plays the now famous 'Double Guitar' and 'Quad Guitar' in the band Nitro's video for Freight Train. He and his bandmates in Nitro held it together for a few years, playing freakishly engineered guitars and belting out glass-shattering vocals (see Jim Gillette), but disbanded in the early 90's. You also may have caught him in the how-to-shred instructional video Speed Kills, where he "GIVES YOU THE KEYS TO THE LAMBORGHINI"...

In less than two weeks the planets will align and Cinefamily will bring Michael Angelo back from the crypt (literally IN person) for a screening of Shock 'Em Dead (1991), one of the essential heavy metal horror movies of our time, plus a special performance by Michael Angelo who's bringing his legendary 'Double Guitar' from the film with him! The plot behind this movie is a TNUC wet dream in full force..."Let’s pretend you’re a huge dweeb who lost your pizzeria gig, got evicted from the trailer park, got humiliated by the dream band you just auditioned for — all before Satan plays double-necked guitar and shocks the power of rock into you! You wake up to find yourself with huge hair, a sweet-ass house, hot babes, and the power to strum your axe like a God. The catch? You and your gang of bimbos must kill and consume the living in order to survive!" - Cinefamily

Shock 'Em Dead (trailer FINAL) from Cinefamily on Vimeo.

10/30 - Mark your calendars and buckle up for a lethal night of low-IQ, high-RPM madness. Duel shredding LIVE in your face, plus a flock of busty babes and Traci Lords gracing the big screen. End of discussion.

HOUSES OF THE (UN)HOLY.

Just plain ol' House (1986) screens in a few weeks on the 25th at Cinefamily in Los Angeles (35mm archival print). But don't let the subtle title fool you, this house is bedrock to plenty of nightmares and ghoulish lurkers that will send shivers down your penis. Just watch the trailer with voiceover work courtesy of the late-great Percy Rodrigues. This guy could do voiceovers for diapers commercials and I'd still be curled up on the couch with the blanket pulled up to my face.

THEY'LL GET YOU IN THE END, AGAIN.

In 1987, shock-rocking W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless was approached to contribute a song to the Ghoulies 2 soundtrack. This genius marriage of music and movie couldn't have been more Grade B. The formula of a B-Metal song for a B-Horror movie works as the ideal concoction for a Saturday night Creature Feature. It's the type of movie that you sit down to watch and by the time the final credits roll, there's crushed beer cans scattered around the basement and pizza crust spinning on top of a skipping record. Possibly even a pair of panties hanging on top of a lampshade if you're lucky. In other words, Ghoulies 2 is a pure party favorite.

The movie was released straight-to-video following the single in 1988 through Empire Pictures. This wasn't Blackie's first rodeo with Empire Pictures. In 1985 he and the members of W.A.S.P. made a cameo as Satan's house band in Dungeonmaster. But it doesn't even stop there, Blackie and the boys even made a brief appearance in 1986's TerrorVision, where they can be seen on television as someone is channel surfing. What is with Blackie's dying devotion to Empire Pictures? I wish I held the key to unlock these mysteries.

The best part of 'Scream Until You Like It' is how heartfelt Blackie sounds in the beginning when he admits he had a hard time seeing these puppets get put back into boxes at the end of the video shoot. Rumor has it that Blackie actually owns one of the original Ghoulies from the movie. One must wonder which Ghoulie ended up winning over Blackie's heart, was it the Cat Ghoulie, Flying Ghoulie, Toad Ghoulie, Rat Ghoulie or Fish Ghoulie? All I know is that it's comforting to hear that this raw meat-spitting, heavy metal-helldorado had such a soft spot for these little creatures of the night.

Lord knows what kind of mischief those two get into when Blackie returns home from tour!

WELCOME BACK CAMPERS.

I can think of no one better to commence TNUC's month-long Splatter Fest than an overweight and out-of-shape Leatherface. He's always been a bit big-boned, but in this clip its pretty clear that Leatherface eats ALL of his groceries and by groceries of course I mean humans. Who knew cannibalism could produce so many complex carbohydrates? Press play and watch our plump friend gaze out on the empty lake while doing some self-reflecting....then wait to see what gift he gives us in the end. Maybe teasing him about his apparent weight problem wasn't the best idea. Some little bra-stuffer will pay.
This merely claws the surface of activity at CAMP TNUC this season. Your parents should have already received their CAMP TNUC brochures months ago, so there's no excuse why you teens and scream queens shouldn't be rolling out your sleeping bags and claiming your cabin on our turf. Look for TNUC pulling up in his shiny new yellow Trans Am, already in a sour mood, complaining about the dust from the road embedding in his polished new tires. Also look for Cyndi, Stephanie, Betti, Tiffany, Todd and Marko pulling up in their 85' Bronco, blasting some Dokken. Once again, the "regulars" have already showed up including the dumbfounded jock, bullying bitch, computer class weakling, sleazy cook, the whore, the understanding camp counselor, the fat kid and of course no shortage of masked maniacs and deformed misfits running about the woods. Just the way we like it.

Keep a close eye on the CREATURE PRESENTATIONS column on the right for all Los Angeles-based horror movie events this month. More importantly, stay tuned and don't stray from the path because we have plenty of deadtime stories, more CAMP TNUC trailers, a brand new slasher mixtape, archery, raft-building, fishing, rowing, wood-chopping, joint rolling and.....whats that? A new music video, perhaps?