Thursday, October 6, 2011
WELCOME BACK CAMPERS.
I can think of no one better to commence TNUC's month-long Splatter Fest than an overweight and out-of-shape Leatherface. He's always been a bit big-boned, but in this clip its pretty clear that Leatherface eats ALL of his groceries and by groceries of course I mean humans. Who knew cannibalism could produce so many complex carbohydrates? Press play and watch our plump friend gaze out on the empty lake while doing some self-reflecting....then wait to see what gift he gives us in the end. Maybe teasing him about his apparent weight problem wasn't the best idea. Some little bra-stuffer will pay.
This merely claws the surface of activity at CAMP TNUC this season. Your parents should have already received their CAMP TNUC brochures months ago, so there's no excuse why you teens and scream queens shouldn't be rolling out your sleeping bags and claiming your cabin on our turf. Look for TNUC pulling up in his shiny new yellow Trans Am, already in a sour mood, complaining about the dust from the road embedding in his polished new tires. Also look for Cyndi, Stephanie, Betti, Tiffany, Todd and Marko pulling up in their 85' Bronco, blasting some Dokken. Once again, the "regulars" have already showed up including the dumbfounded jock, bullying bitch, computer class weakling, sleazy cook, the whore, the understanding camp counselor, the fat kid and of course no shortage of masked maniacs and deformed misfits running about the woods. Just the way we like it.
Keep a close eye on the CREATURE PRESENTATIONS column on the right for all Los Angeles-based horror movie events this month. More importantly, stay tuned and don't stray from the path because we have plenty of deadtime stories, more CAMP TNUC trailers, a brand new slasher mixtape, archery, raft-building, fishing, rowing, wood-chopping, joint rolling and.....whats that? A new music video, perhaps?